Uni Advice That I Would Tell My First-Year Self

As a fresher coming to uni, it was a big change. Leaving home and living with complete strangers, studying independently, managing money and learning how to nurse a horrible hangover. If there was anything I could change I would have loved to have a fairy godmother or some sort of mystical mermaid who gave me advice and lessons before I came. Here is a list of the lessons and unfortunate truths I learnt and uni advice I think would be useful to any new uni student.

  1. First year is important. Okay it may not count towards your grade but it prepares you for the next two or three years and enables to use your skills efficiently.
  2. You will spend a lot of money on alcohol, ditch the Ciroc and Grey Goose you are not Jay Z.
  3. Don’t waste your money on branded food and items. Pasta is pasta, bread is bread and your student loan will not cater to your lavish lifestyle.
  4. Societies are the best place to meet new people and they look fabulous on your CV and you can pick up a new skill.
  6. Freshers flu is real. The struggle is real. Dose up on that tea and orange juice now. It gets the best of us.
  7. You probably won’t see your college friends as much as you thought you would.
  8. Keep a constant eye out on your food, your flat-mates will smile in your face and steal your food behind your back.
  9. Speaking of flatmates, do not sleep with them. No one wants 9 months of awkwardness.
  10. Take advantage of workshops, counselling services, career days, career presentations etc. These services are there to be used. Mental health is important and there will always be someone who will listen to you and help you.
  11. Be careful of Netflix and chill, you went to watch movie not to conceive a baby.
  12. If you think you’re the ugly friend. Don’t worry uni does wonders, you will Glo up. The transformation will happen.
  13. Meet new people, diversify yourself. The differences in other people will help you learn about yourself and form your own opinions.
  14. Those people who say they don’t revise and get good grades, they are LYING. Make sure you revise unless God is directly speaking to you and giving you the answers.

The list goes on but I sure you will find out for yourself. Uni will be the best three/four/five years of your life. Take your exams seriously but don’t forget to have fun and learn about yourself. Uni is the key to the door of life. HAVE FUN!


The Temporality of Human Connection

With every new transition, move to a new town, entry into a new job, you are saying goodbye to old friends, lovers and colleagues. I’ve increasingly become to realise that you cannot take everyone with you. You can’t have a relationship with every single person you meet. I am identifying temporary relationships all too well. Some people are only supposed to be in your life for a short while. We are only crossing paths – we are not on the same journey.

The emotional hardship that comes when it seems you have “lost” a friend or when the time once spent with a lover begins to dwindle can cause a lot of upset. I feel like this is to do with the perspective most people have when viewing the relationships in their lives. I personally like to create relationships for the long haul – I don’t intend to have half-hearted relations with other human beings.

I want to experience people fully, to connect with them authentically and grow together. However, this way of viewing things is conflicting when it comes to people who are temporary in my life. Of course you cannot identify temporary relationships until they are that and so you can never foresee this. Changing perspective has been very important in dealing with change and change in relationships in particular. I now evaluate relationships with people as having the potential to be great but I also and most importantly evaluate them as having the potential to not last forever. 

Some people you meet in life are not supposed to be permanent fixtures. They are only meant to be in your life for a short while. They may teach you all sorts of life lessons while they are there. Whether these relationships end amicably or terribly, these experiences are all apart of your experience of life and will have a role to play in your future. Some people are only supposed to be in your life temporarily.

Some people who have been temporary in my life, I have had the best time with, I learnt so much about myself, I saw the beauty in other humans, I was so happy to have these people with me. However, that was their purpose for me. Their purpose was to teach me these things, to have me experience these things. All I can do now is look back on those times with joy and sentiment. Some connections with people will result in temporary relationships – we were not supposed to last forever.

A huge part of my way of thinking is that being sad is a waste of time and energy. Why be sad when you can be joyous, you can enjoy the fruits of the earth. Sadness is uncontrollable, but if we can try to restrict what things we give sad energies to, we can lessen the sadness. We should not be sad to lose relationships or friendships. They weren’t meant to last. Don’t crave for a past relationship or lover – they were not meant to be. Realising that some things are not meant to be permanent can spur the need to enjoy things while they last. Live authentically and experience others while they are in your life. Don’t cling on to relationships out of a need to make them last. What is meant to be will be. What is meant to last will last. 

“Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long-lasting. Sometimes people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better for a little while, or to just be someone to walk with at night and spill your life to. Not everyone is going to stay forever, and we still have to keep on going and thank them for what they’ve given us.”

—Emery Allen;

How do you deal with temporary relationships? Did you have a best friend who you no longer speak to? Let me know in the comments or tweet me! x