Last Tuesday I attended the Scarlet Ladies event Talk of The Town: Sex Without Stigma and I was pleasantly surprised. The event was held in a beautiful venue in East London which felt like a vintage living room where glamorous ladies would come together and chat about their woes. Except it was 2017 and sex positive chat only.
Scarlet Ladies are all about growing in confidence, loving their bodies, and living boldly without fear or shame. They are a peer-to-peer network with an aim to empower women to understand and own their sexuality. It was an honour to be invited down and be apart of this great community they have built.
I enjoy talking about taboo subjects. I like gaining new perspectives and altering my own. But I was surprised at this event. I was wrong, sex is not a taboo subject. The ladies at this event made me realise that sex is a essential part of our identities and although it manifests in various ways for different people, it is completely normal and not a taboo subject at all.
When you hear about sex positivity, it is normally watered down or has undertones of patriarchy in it and it doesn’t really get discussed as a fully-fledged topic. In mainstream media, in my opinion, female sexuality is still very much a stigmatized subject.
At Talk of the Town: Sex Without Stigma, women came together from all ages and discussed their sexual experiences. With discussion we were able to give our own contributions and hear our views on a subject in contrast to others. Talking about sex in an open environment free from any judgment and condemnation was a chance to gain an insight into the different ideas and attitudes from a variety of women. We discussed different ways that one can be more conscious of their sexual self-hood.
It was hosted by the wonderful Alix Fox and the event centered around alternative sexuality where we discussed kink, orgasmic meditation and tantric sex. A view that I found interesting was that if women go out unknowingly into the world to explore their sexuality without any guidance or familiarity they may be open to the danger of being exploited and violated. However, with proper and adequate education and information women can be equipped with the knowledge to express themselves without risk or endangerment.
Where do we receive proper education on female sexuality? We don’t see it in porn. We don’t learn about it in school. This is why groups such as Scarlet Ladies are invaluable.
What enabled such open and candid discussion was the fact that this was a safe place. We were all free and despite coming from different backgrounds and having different characters; everyone and the panelists were receptive and sincere. This is definitely not the kind of honest discourse you’ll find on your Twitter timeline haha. Although I came by myself, I was made to feel so comfortable and left with some new gal pals. There’s nothing I love more than head strong women who know what they like and want and own their identities.
What I learnt was that there is definitely not one way to discuss sex; there is not one right form of sex; people are free to express their sexual identities in whatever way they choose. Not only is speaking about and actually discussing the subject with fellow women insightful it also leaves you feeling empowered. I left with a new attitude and view on the norms that we accept in society. We as individuals are free to reclaim our sexual identities and express them in any form that we wish.
CONSENSUAL SEX ONLY AND NOTHING ILLEGAL – (because people still don’t know this)
They currently have 75% off your first 3 months‘ membership if you join by 30th June. Check out their membership and what it includes and definitely head down to one of their events! Their next one is on the 21st June and if you can’t make it but like the sound of these events tell a friend to tell a friend.
I just really want all my gal pals to check out Scarlet Ladies, the talks and community that they provide. We are now in a time and generation where women want ownership of our bodies, we are forward-thinking, we are feminists and we are powerful. Scarlet Ladies have created a community where women like us can exist. We can be empowered and empower others. The future is female. #talkFIERCE
*disclaimer – I was not paid for this post. All views are honest and my own*