Why You Cannot Think Negatively of The Past

I feel like I’ve spent a lot of time in the past few year dwelling on sad things, situations I wished didn’t happen and just generally bad experiences. The thing is with time, once it has occurred, you cannot get it back or reverse it. I feel now that I have just been wasting time wanting life to have occurred in an alternative way. When instead, I could have put all of this energy into building myself, a future and creating more positive situations.

negativity the past
Every single moment of your life, even the irrelevant parts, even the worse incidents and situations, have all culminated to make you exactly the person you are today. I don’t know if you watched a lot of Jimmy Neutron when you were younger? (I did) About the time space continuum and how changing one thing in the past would change the future completely. Just like in Back to the Future 2 with Biff and Doc and Marty (great film). But yes similarly, (not to those extremes) the person you are today has come to be because of all your past experiences, relationships and feelings. If you were to change anything in your past, you would not be who you are today.

If perhaps you don’t like the person you are today and you want to change, you can do so by looking towards the future and engaging in critical self-development. The past is not coming back any time soon. If you are at peace with the person you are today and are content with self, continue working on yourself – we are always a work in progress. Wasting time dwelling on the past when it cannot change or add value to your life or current self is not productive and robs you from seeing the beauty of life.

negativity the past
Every failed relationship, toxic relationships, incidents and lowest moments have all played a part in building and moulding us into the people we are today. We can learn something from all of these moments and take lessons from them to become improved versions of ourselves. Don’t let the things that are unchangeable affect the things in life that are changeable. You are a strong person and you have overcome the past to end up in this exact moment. Don’t let your past rob you of a future.

Catch some of my other recent Wellness posts:


Being Lonely: Why Being Alone Isn’t A Bad Thing

I was having a conversation the other day with a friend and she told me that she was spending a lot of time with a boy she didn’t really like. Obviously, I thought that this was odd and wondered why she didn’t just stop wasting her time. She said that she was spending time with him for the company because she was lonely. When she said that I realised so many people spend time with people they don’t really want to because at least they have people around them. I don’t think being by yourself or being lonely is a bad thing; there’s a lot to be learnt in moments of solitude.

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How To Become More Self-Aware With These 5 Steps

I really want to come to terms with how the world is the way it is and why we are the way we are as individuals. Introspection is a skill that I think is so useful in determining our place in this world and how we relate to other people. Having the ability to be deeply aware of your own feelings, emotions, thoughts and perception of yourself is something that I think is integral to leading a life of self-fulfilment and development. Self-awareness is key to unpicking the negativity in our lives, bettering ourselves and leading happier lives. With any form of self-improvement, it takes time and practice to truly see and understand ourselves clearly. If you are interested in how to become more self-aware keep reading and find out my 5 ways of doing so.

Constantly Evaluate Yourself

Throughout the day when you are engaging in thought and carrying out certain actions, evaluate the motivation for them and ask yourself why are you doing them. Explore how you are feeling in each act you are doing or why certain thoughts present themselves in response to any stimuli you’re presented with throughout the day. If you feel stressed at all or down or annoyed, try to find the root of your problem and evaluate why you have been put into these negative moods. Analysing yourself and becoming aware of your behaviours can help to prevent you getting into these moods or can help you make these moods short-lived. You will know what things you dislike and you may not react so negatively in the future.

how to become more self-aware

Don’t Judge Yourself

Whenever you are feeling certain emotions or feelings, express yourself fully and ride the waves of these emotions without judging yourself for doing so. If you are frustrated or jealous even, don’t think to yourself that “I shouldn’t be frustrated”, “being in a bad mood is not good”, “I’m being a party pooper”. Be honest with how you are feeling, come to terms with it and evaluate it in it raw state. Don’t ignore your emotions, face up to them. You will gain a better understanding of the self and you won’t fly off the handle so often or be confused about your feelings. Your emotions and feelings are always valid, just because they may affect others or may not be ideal for a certain situation, it doesn’t mean you should just disregard them. Be honest with yourself.

Change Your Perspective

We all have a perception of things, such as the people around us, situations and events. People also have a perception of us and we have a perception of ourselves. With self-awareness the key is to making the various perceptions of the self equal. How you perceive yourself should match how others perceive you. Through self-reflection and engaging with other people in conversations about each other you can gain a deeper understanding of your inconsistencies and shortcomings. Put yourself into someone else’s shoes and evaluate yourself with a different perspective. What do you see? How do you come across?

Accept Yourself 100%

No matter what you discover on the route to self-awareness you need to accept. This is you. You may find flaws but this is what makes you you. Being able to identify them and make an effort to change them is a great way to develop and improve yourself. We are not perfect and so evaluating ourselves may not always bring about positive conclusions. Again, if you are feeling negative emotions, don’t ignore them or judge yourself, accept it and in time these will occur less and less often. Accepting yourself 100% will provide the perfect environment for you to grow in a healthy way.

how to become more self-aware


Self-awareness is not a finite destination. You can’t give yourself a month to achieve it. It is something you will be consistently and constantly working at. Changing behaviours and thought processes take time and when you find a way to bring about change there will be new ways to improve. The path to self-awareness is a journey, you will learn new things about yourself through all the different interactions, events and situations you find yourself in throughout life. Self-reflection and self-awareness will become second nature to you with time and practice.

I haven’t quite mastered self-awareness but I’m definitely much better at it than I used to be. I feel quite carefree and unstressed in my daily life. Understanding myself more has allowed me to have better and healthier relationships with people and feeling frustrated is a rarity.

Do you think you are self-aware or do you have any tips on how to become more self-aware? Let me know in the comments or over on Twitter.

A great way to take time for yourself and engage in self-reflection is to exercise. Check out my post on it benefits in case you missed it!