Being Lonely: Why Being Alone Isn’t A Bad Thing

Being Lonely: Why Being Alone Isn’t A Bad Thing

I was having a conversation the other day with a friend and she told me that she was spending a lot of time with a boy she didn’t really like. Obviously, I thought that this was odd and wondered why she didn’t just stop wasting her time. She said that she was spending time with him for the company because she was lonely. When she said that I realised so many people spend time with people they don’t really want to because at least they have people around them. I don’t think being by yourself or being lonely is a bad thing; there’s a lot to be learnt in moments of solitude.

Being lonely is only a bad thing if you are not comfortable with yourself and your solitude. Don’t get me wrong fulfilling relationships have their joys and benefits and can definitely bring about a lot of happiness. But enjoying moments of solitude can allow you to have a fulfilling relationship with yourself. I feel like there’s a stigma with being lonely. You don’t have any friends. You don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Nobody likes you. We need to stop caring about what others think and just embrace the loneliness – there’s no shame. Stop being uncomfortable alone.

You should not be so afraid of your solitude that you have to constantly be in social situations just to avoid it. If you are always surrounding yourself with other people, think about why you are doing that? What is the reason? Is there something about yourself that you are hiding from and trying to avoid? In the same way, being around people is a great thing. I’m not saying that socialising and enjoying being with people is a bad thing. I think that people should spend time with people because it brings happiness and joy. These other people should add to your greatness and bring value into your life. You should not use these people to fill voids in yourself. A void can never be filled; you can only distract yourself from its existence. Spending time with people and viewing it in this way means that when these people are not around you, you will not feel incomplete and lonely.

 There will be times when your friends are all busy or your family are not nearby. You will have no choice but to spend time alone. This should not be a situation where you crave for the company, but a situation when you have the opportunity to work on yourself, to fall more in love with yourself. In my opinion solitude is a time for self-development and deep reflection. It is a time out from the world around us. It is a time for me to truly understand myself, what I like, what I hate, what hobbies I enjoy. The relationship I have developed with myself has only come about from periods of loneliness. I am comfortable with myself. I can entertain myself and indulge in hobbies and activities of interest.

Here are a few reasons why being lonely isn’t a bad thing.

  1. You have time to re-energise and recharge.
  2. You have the opportunity to reflect on yourself and life.
  3. You’ll get more in tune with your emotions and understand them better
  4. There’s a chance to learn about the things that you actually enjoy as an individual
  5. You can be more productive and gain a strong sense of self
  6. Spending time alone can make you value time spent with others more
  7. You’ll stop looking for validation and be more independent

Being lonely or alone isn’t a bad thing. It’s a date with just you and you.

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27 Comments

  1. June 29, 2017 / 12:49 pm

    Being alone can be so nice for spending some time on yourself and just being able to breath without anyone wanting/needing you for something. It can be hard though if you’re not comfortable with yourself or solitude. I love time alone but I don’t think I could go out for dinner alone or anything like that.

  2. June 29, 2017 / 4:13 pm

    I totally agree. Lonely isn’t bad but I think there’s a big different about being alone and being lonely. You need to love yourself enough as a solo and find out who you are before anything else. It’s all about confidence.

  3. June 29, 2017 / 4:43 pm

    The very fact that i have the loneliness affords me the chance to reflect on my life and also recharge my strength is key.

  4. freya farrington@hotmail.com
    June 29, 2017 / 5:06 pm

    I always say it’s important to have alone time, everyone needs it every once in a while, even those who are afraid to be alone!

  5. June 29, 2017 / 5:12 pm

    This reminds me of a post that I wrote about saying how it was ok to be alone and I completely agree with you. I spent so much time in relationships with bad people or was friends with people who were fake because I didn’t want to feel alone and now I would rather be alone then be with someone who does not like me. Learning to be comfortable with solitude is something that we should all embrace x

    • wjames0505
      July 1, 2017 / 8:38 am

      Same, no fake friends please! Haha embrace yourself and the right people will come

  6. June 29, 2017 / 5:49 pm

    I agree with this. For a long time I thought that loneliness was a bad thing, but as I have got older I have realised that being on your own is very important. I love having time to myself, and with five children that really is rare!

    • wjames0505
      July 1, 2017 / 8:37 am

      Hahah I’m sure all five are the greatest company xx

  7. June 29, 2017 / 8:30 pm

    I totally agree on your point here. I love being on my own, not because I’m an introvert or anything but because I realized all the benefits of spending time with myself.

  8. June 29, 2017 / 8:51 pm

    I never had a problem with being along and people always though I was weird. I think it’s so interesting that coming from america people associate being alone as not having any friends where as the rest of the world thinks its empowering

  9. June 29, 2017 / 9:19 pm

    I know lots of people who don’t like the feeling of being lonely. They don’t mind being alone but they don’t like feeling lonely. It is totally understandable as we are social creatures. I think it is ok to not want to feel lonely and to do something about it like finding people to be around. I think the problem is when people are around people they don’t like just to have company, then that can be dangerous.

  10. June 29, 2017 / 11:19 pm

    Being alone can be great, it allows people to really focus on themselves. Everyone should learn to enjoy their own company, most of the time its hard to find such an opportunity to do so.

  11. June 30, 2017 / 1:47 am

    I’m single, but I’m not alone. I do enjoy alone time to reflect on life and get away from it all. Great post.

  12. Ali Rost
    June 30, 2017 / 5:06 am

    Some of my happiest seasons of life were the times I was alone. I wasn’t in a relationship, or trying to please people that I didn’t really like. I took the time to figure myself out .. what I wanted for my future and a plan for how to make it happen. It’s really an ok thing.

  13. June 30, 2017 / 8:18 am

    I relish spending time alone, but then I run a busy household and time to myself is rare

  14. June 30, 2017 / 9:24 am

    I don’t get lonely on my own and before I met my other half I’d regularly go on me dates in London and do all the things I wanted to do, or I’d stay in and just do things for me (movies, take out, a bath etc). I think being comfortable on your own is essential x

    • wjames0505
      July 1, 2017 / 8:36 am

      I love being alone but I want to go out and do more travelling and activities by myself 🙂

  15. June 30, 2017 / 9:24 am

    I totally agree, spending time alone is a great way to recharge and relax. Too many people seem to be in relationships just for the sake of being with someone rather than on their own.
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  16. June 30, 2017 / 10:23 am

    Being lonely when you don’t have family or friends around is a horrible situation, however choosing time to be alone is different altogether. I enjoy my own company on some days to do my own thing but at the same time I love having friends to chat to and go out with.

  17. Akamatra
    June 30, 2017 / 11:33 am

    I spent some years alone before I met my husband. I didn’t really feel lonely though, that’s what friends are for right?

  18. June 30, 2017 / 1:55 pm

    I LOVE beeing alone, especially in Paris haha its a time where I enjoy silence and try to find myself back!

    • wjames0505
      July 1, 2017 / 8:35 am

      I want to try travelling alone – I’ve never done it before

  19. June 30, 2017 / 7:47 pm

    Lonely and alone are very different things. When I feel lonely. I feel miserable and sad but I love spending time alone. I crave my own company and often when I’m away in big groups I purposely go off alone for a few hours x

  20. July 2, 2017 / 11:20 pm

    This is such a good post! It’s so true, being alone is never a bad thing as many people may believe x

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