I was having a conversation the other day with a friend and she told me that she was spending a lot of time with a boy she didn’t really like. Obviously, I thought that this was odd and wondered why she didn’t just stop wasting her time. She said that she was spending time with him for the company because she was lonely. When she said that I realised so many people spend time with people they don’t really want to because at least they have people around them. I don’t think being by yourself or being lonely is a bad thing; there’s a lot to be learnt in moments of solitude.
Being lonely is only a bad thing if you are not comfortable with yourself and your solitude. Don’t get me wrong fulfilling relationships have their joys and benefits and can definitely bring about a lot of happiness. But enjoying moments of solitude can allow you to have a fulfilling relationship with yourself. I feel like there’s a stigma with being lonely. You don’t have any friends. You don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Nobody likes you. We need to stop caring about what others think and just embrace the loneliness – there’s no shame. Stop being uncomfortable alone.
You should not be so afraid of your solitude that you have to constantly be in social situations just to avoid it. If you are always surrounding yourself with other people, think about why you are doing that? What is the reason? Is there something about yourself that you are hiding from and trying to avoid? In the same way, being around people is a great thing. I’m not saying that socialising and enjoying being with people is a bad thing. I think that people should spend time with people because it brings happiness and joy. These other people should add to your greatness and bring value into your life. You should not use these people to fill voids in yourself. A void can never be filled; you can only distract yourself from its existence. Spending time with people and viewing it in this way means that when these people are not around you, you will not feel incomplete and lonely.
There will be times when your friends are all busy or your family are not nearby. You will have no choice but to spend time alone. This should not be a situation where you crave for the company, but a situation when you have the opportunity to work on yourself, to fall more in love with yourself. In my opinion solitude is a time for self-development and deep reflection. It is a time out from the world around us. It is a time for me to truly understand myself, what I like, what I hate, what hobbies I enjoy. The relationship I have developed with myself has only come about from periods of loneliness. I am comfortable with myself. I can entertain myself and indulge in hobbies and activities of interest.
Here are a few reasons why being lonely isn’t a bad thing.
- You have time to re-energise and recharge.
- You have the opportunity to reflect on yourself and life.
- You’ll get more in tune with your emotions and understand them better
- There’s a chance to learn about the things that you actually enjoy as an individual
- You can be more productive and gain a strong sense of self
- Spending time alone can make you value time spent with others more
- You’ll stop looking for validation and be more independent